Read the fine print

The lead physician at the local quick clinic/stat care/ whatever you want to call it just moved herself up on Eric's cool scale.

When patients are discharged from the clinic, the prescriptions are at the bottom of a full sheet of paper. When the patient drops off the script, we tear the prescription off at the perforations and hand the top part of the sheet back to the patient since it has the home-going instructions, etc.

Patient was a 24 year-old female who has seen a super-sized Big Mac meal or two in her lifetime. She didn't have the time to wait for us to hand back the top part of the paper. When this happens we usually enclose the instructions in the prescription bag when the patient returns to the pharmacy.

The orders are for this larger woman. Bactrim suspension and ibuprofen suspension.

For me, I don't think that there's anything that burns my butt more than people who say that they can't swallow pills. You are an adult. It's time to grow up and take your medicine like a big person. I know that this chick can take care of a Whopper in about three bites.

We go ahead and get the prescriptions ready and are putting the home-going instructions in the bag when we notice the physicians comments:

• rest
• fluids
• practice swallowing cake sprinkles!

I love the comment. But doc, if you tell this chick to practice swallowing the cake sprinkles she's going to have them attached to a cake.

With ice cream.


And Hershey's syrup.